劍湖山

Monday morning 7:30, I found myself heading to 劍湖山. The bus ride was not so quick with a hired tour guide feeling the need to talk most of the way ... microphone in hand.

We hit a few rest stops along the way. The first stop on the tour was at a restaurant high up in the hills. We questioned the tiny windy roads in this big out of place bus. Coffee was a specialty around these parts. The restaurant first served us coffee mayonnaise salad ... it was alright, a little plain. Next came coffee ham and coffee sausage. I didn't dare to try. The third dish proved promising ... chicken with coffee beans and tea vinegar. After that, bamboo with no coffee, thankfully, and also tofu with who knows what. It was very bland, but seemed a healthier option than the coffee sausage and ham. Still to follow were deep fried mini fish and squid that was bound to have been caught in the stream one could see below. One thing I've learned about small mountain restaurants is that you're never sure what you'll get.

I recall one time, an order of chicken wings was placed. They consisted of baby chicks that were cut in half ... the heads weren't even removed. I remember my friend picking up one of my wings and opening the beak begging me not to eat it. Can you say instant loss of appetite? Anyway ... off topic.

Next stop was for cake and coffee ... funny that. All one really wanted to do was be at the water park. We waited there in the hot sun for what felt like hours until the rain came. Finally ... in the rain ... we were off to the hotel. Upon arrival, the rain had become torrential and the parks were closed. With just over an hour to kill before dinner ... because we hadn't just eaten ... we were free to wander the hotel. It wasn't overly interesting.

Dinner was buffet style but one could hardly be hungry. The elderly man next to me, a parent of my coworker, ate four FULL plates of food. Not sure where he put it!

The evening followed with one very expensive beer at a transvestite show. Unfortunately pictures weren't allowed to be taken. The best shot of the night would have been of the two, um, ladies dressed in thongs, small bras, boas and (excuse the language) fuck me boots ... two kids about 6 and 8 sat directly in front of the pole they were dancing around. They were staring up and whispering amongst themselves. One couldn't help but wonder what was coming out of those mouths.

After the show, we went to a Russian circus. It was alright ... entertaining at best. A flying car ride followed which was nothing to write home about so I won't. Most of the seats were broken which made one wonder what the rest of the park was going to present.

A long island ice tea in the hotel lobby and then it was off to bed for me. The next morning was buffet breakfast and I was pretty excited. There was bacon and eggs and pancakes, although no syrup or ketchup. There was honey and hot sauce so it all worked out.

The park was quite fun and I'm sure the pictures will speak for the rest. Check it out. The link on the right. Click it.