Saturday August 19th, 2006

A bit of a giggle to go with your morning coffee ... a birthday card from my 16th birthday, titled 'The Italian who went to New York'.

One day Ima go to New York to a bigga hotel. I go down to eat somma breakfast. I tella the waitress I wanna two piss toast. She branga me only onea piss. I tella her I wanna two piss, she say go to the toliet, I say you no understand. I wanna two piss on my plate. She say you better no piss on the plate you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she calla me sonna ma bitch.

Later, I go to eat soma lunch at Drake Restaurant, the waitress bringa me a spoon ana knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tellsa me everybody wanna fock. I tella her, you no understand, I wanna fock on the table. You sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me a sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room inna hotel an there's no sheet on my bed. I calla the manager ana tell him I wanna sheet. He tells me to go to the toilet. So I say you no understand, I wanna sheet on the bed. He say you better not sheet on the bed, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the man and he call me sonna ma bitch.

I go to check out and the man at the desk, he say peace to you. I say piss onna you too, you sonna ma bitch.

I go back to Italy!!